“For me, mindfulness plays the most important job to me every single day. It helps me be better wife, a better mum and a better me.“
Kavita. The Unlikely Mummy.
I’m Kavita, mum of one incredibly active toddler, who has taught me so much about the person I am. I survived postnatal depression and anxiety and now I enjoy listening and helping people and more recently helping mums because sometimes all a mum needs is a little extra support and a person to talk to. I am also a mum to a beautiful daughter who has given me joy back to my life.
Today I want to share with you how mindfulness has helped me become a better mum and a better person.
Do you ever find time for yourself since you have children, whether that is one, two or three children? I just have the one, and it feels like it was two and a half years ago when I last switched off. I would say sitting down writing this is “me” time, it really is not as I have a million jobs to get done and everything is racing through my head!
So, what I do?
Do I write it down and get myself overwhelmed with the list or do I just stare at the mess and I hope the magic fairies I will take it all away (also known as my husband).
No. I write down three achievable jobs that I count as important and make sure I do them. Sometimes they are simple, like empty the dish washer, washing machine or sweep the floor. Sometimes, it’s clean the table or tidy up the toys and other times it is the bigger jobs such as the sheets or the clean the bathroom. Can you see a theme? Everything seems to be cleaning or tidying up! I miss being a kid!
How does the mindfulness side of things help me?
Honestly, at first it didn’t because I didn’t really understand the benefits of it, I didn’t understand the positive impact it would have on my own personal wellbeing and therefore the impact on my family. For me, mindfulness plays the most important job to me every single day. I start my morning with a positive affirmation (bear with me – I promise)
I am a good mum
I am a good wife
I will be happy
I will take 10 minutes out of the day for myself
I will get my top 3 jobs done
Every morning for the last 3 maybe 4 weeks I have said this myself silently, although out loud is better and I feel a lot more positive and confident for my day.
Yoga, long walks, journal writing (although I start it all with good intentions) and reading, don’t do it for me. Reflection, bullet lists, mediation are the things that work for me to be a better person. I say better person, by this I mean a better Kavita, a better wife and mum. I can be fun and full of energy for my son, so he doesn’t see a stressed-out mummy, especially during these difficult times. My anxieties are not passed onto him, my fears are under control and I practice mindfulness for myself, but I do a lot more for my son, so he has the best version of me.
Can YOU have a time out?
I can hear you saying, “but I don’t have the time”, well I didn’t think I did either. I work full time; I have a son and one on the way. I am starting up my own blogging and community group with The Unlikely Mummy, trying to be a good wife, keeping a house clean and in order and I am trying to be Kavita again, or at least remember who Kavita is or who she was. It isn’t easy, I understand that, if it was easy, we wouldn’t need mindfulness and you wouldn’t need me to tell you what it is I do.
Time out is important so I can recharge my batteries, value what is important to me and share this within the mum community that we can all do it. However, we must be kind to ourselves. I know it’s a phrase said all the time but “be kind”, we need to be kinder to ourselves! Surround ourselves with the positive people who we want to spend time with, surround ourselves with love and exciting things but most of all enjoy what time we have, which means taking time out for yourself.
Simple steps to get you started
3 or 4 affirmations
Drink plenty of water
Clear your mind ready for the day
Eat plenty of fruit and veg
Speak positively about yourself
What if none of that works?
Then try meditation or other forms of mindfulness, such as writing or colouring. There is lots of support out there for us, I know first-hand how difficult it can be to ask for it, I am thankful that I did, because now I can pass this on to you.